meh.
I'm tired and frustrated today, so it's gonna be one of those reviews. It's not like this game gave me much to work with anyway. I ragequit pretty early on.
First off, let's talk about the control scheme. This is one of those "enemy-hell" kind of games where there are always a million and a half enemies on the screen and it's your job to dispatch them all. You never run out of ammo, and the special weapons are timed, meaning not only does the game not punish the perpetual use of LMB, it promotes it. I feel like if I had a mouse, it wouldn't be that much of a problem (especially if it was my old mouse where you could press a button and it would treat the mouse buttons as toggles rather than holds), but I have to say that this setup made the game very uncomfortable to play. Being a game that is not enjoyable physically certainly is falling at the first snail on the racetrack that you've mistaken for a hurdle.
The aesthetic is bland. The only appeal comes from the "neon light" look that I'm really getting tired of now. There doesn't seem to have been any real thought put into the enemy or level design.
Which leads me into the big problem. The reason why I ragequit. See, after a while, I realized that you automatically shoot towards your cursor, so I could just not touch my trackpad and circle-straffe around everything and be untouchable. Apparently, the game knew that I'd found out how to exploit it, so it decided to pull a complete 180 from being unfairly easy to unfairly...well, unfair. I was immediately blindsided by 5 enemies at once who drained all my health before I even realized I was taking damage. I was then taken to the very beginning of the stage.
A game that is designed like this does not deserve to be played. nope.
ok so maybe "meh" doesn't quite sum up my discontent for this game, but eh. It's what I'm feelin
That's all for now. Until next time, stay indifferent
Links
https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=24641
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Glitch
To me, naming a game Glitch is even more of a death sentence than naming a book "highly combustible pages" or a movie "someone dragged a key across the film."
Much to my delight, Glitch does nothing to deserve its name, in that it is one of the best games on this list so far. Yes, it's no secret that I'm a fan of the FPS, but there's a good reason for it. I have no problem tearing apart bad FPS games like Echo. Before this turns into some genre war, let me say that I judge all games equally, regardless of the genre. I have my preferences, but so does everybody. If I don't like an RTS, for example, it's not just because I find no joy in micromanaging things that feel so distanced from me that I may as well just be a spectator, but it's moreso probably because it conveys its instructions through text dumps, has graphical problems or what have you. I swear, I'm a totally credible critic.
Anyways, Glitch is one of those "beautiful in its simplicity" kind of things. As you guys can tell, it's late and I'm tired, so I'm not going to go into huge detail or spend tons of time looking through my blog archive for games to compare it to. I will, however, highlight some of the things I enjoyed about Glitch.
First, let's talk visuals. The stills for this game make it look absolutely awful, but once the polygons are in motion, it really becomes a feast for the eyes. All the colors are bright and contrasting, making everything easy to see.
The level design is...well, it's a bunch of narrow square platforms that connect on all four sides and wave up and down like the Tacoma Narrows bridge. Simple, but allows for a lot of variety (which is a good one-sentence review of this game as a whole).
What really sold me is the game feel. Usually, when I've been playing a game for about half an hour and I haven't died yet, I'll say "okay, let me just kill myself so I can see what the game over screen is like and get bloggin." I couldn't bring myself to do that in this game. I had to keep playing because I was just having too much fun. I attribute this mainly to the weapons. Each one is varied enough to be fresh when you pick it up. You can only hold one weapon at a time, but the stage is always littered with pickups. Dodging enemy fire and taking down tough targets is an immensely rewarding experience. This game definitely earns my seal of approval.
Links
pew pew yaaay: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=1470
Much to my delight, Glitch does nothing to deserve its name, in that it is one of the best games on this list so far. Yes, it's no secret that I'm a fan of the FPS, but there's a good reason for it. I have no problem tearing apart bad FPS games like Echo. Before this turns into some genre war, let me say that I judge all games equally, regardless of the genre. I have my preferences, but so does everybody. If I don't like an RTS, for example, it's not just because I find no joy in micromanaging things that feel so distanced from me that I may as well just be a spectator, but it's moreso probably because it conveys its instructions through text dumps, has graphical problems or what have you. I swear, I'm a totally credible critic.
Anyways, Glitch is one of those "beautiful in its simplicity" kind of things. As you guys can tell, it's late and I'm tired, so I'm not going to go into huge detail or spend tons of time looking through my blog archive for games to compare it to. I will, however, highlight some of the things I enjoyed about Glitch.
First, let's talk visuals. The stills for this game make it look absolutely awful, but once the polygons are in motion, it really becomes a feast for the eyes. All the colors are bright and contrasting, making everything easy to see.
The level design is...well, it's a bunch of narrow square platforms that connect on all four sides and wave up and down like the Tacoma Narrows bridge. Simple, but allows for a lot of variety (which is a good one-sentence review of this game as a whole).
What really sold me is the game feel. Usually, when I've been playing a game for about half an hour and I haven't died yet, I'll say "okay, let me just kill myself so I can see what the game over screen is like and get bloggin." I couldn't bring myself to do that in this game. I had to keep playing because I was just having too much fun. I attribute this mainly to the weapons. Each one is varied enough to be fresh when you pick it up. You can only hold one weapon at a time, but the stage is always littered with pickups. Dodging enemy fire and taking down tough targets is an immensely rewarding experience. This game definitely earns my seal of approval.
Links
pew pew yaaay: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=1470
Monday, April 15, 2013
Gigoon
Sometimes you play a game...sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't
Sometimes the game just doesn't load. Sometimes it doesn't let you get past its menu screen. In my opinion, the most disheartening kind of broken game is the one that looks like a functioning, finished product but is unplayable because of it's sloppy mechanics and blatant lack of playtesting. The last game I recall from memory that fit into this category was A Series of Tubes.
Gigoon can now be added to the list.
essentially, this game is Attack of the 50ft Robot if the robot was a brilliantly designed monster that, more often than not, refused to move. This game had the foundation to be the most fun thing since sliced yo-yos. The only thing I didn't like about Attack of the 50ft Robot was the visual style. This game looked like it was going to fix that, but broken mechanics ensured that no fun times would be had.
That's all I got for today. Until next time, stay mobile
Links
Move, dammit!: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=398
Sometimes the game just doesn't load. Sometimes it doesn't let you get past its menu screen. In my opinion, the most disheartening kind of broken game is the one that looks like a functioning, finished product but is unplayable because of it's sloppy mechanics and blatant lack of playtesting. The last game I recall from memory that fit into this category was A Series of Tubes.
Gigoon can now be added to the list.
essentially, this game is Attack of the 50ft Robot if the robot was a brilliantly designed monster that, more often than not, refused to move. This game had the foundation to be the most fun thing since sliced yo-yos. The only thing I didn't like about Attack of the 50ft Robot was the visual style. This game looked like it was going to fix that, but broken mechanics ensured that no fun times would be had.
That's all I got for today. Until next time, stay mobile
Links
Move, dammit!: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=398
Sunday, April 14, 2013
GeoWarfare
GeoWarfare advertises itself as an "RTS without the resource management." This resource management has ruined many a game before it, but that's due to poor implementation. I don't think resource management is, in and of itself, a problem, so removing it entirely might not be the majestic epiphany the RTS genre needs. Still though, the way it advertises itself denotes that it thinks of itself as very different, and I'm all about different. Let's see what it has in store.
Well, after playing with it for as long as it took to get me more bored than I was just sitting in a cafeteria waiting for my friends to get knocked out of a debate tournament one by one, I can make one definite conclusion...there's definitely no resource management.
Maybe I just don't understand how to play games like this, but I'm with Yahtzee on this one. sending hoards of my men to get slaughtered by equally numbered, equally armed, yet somehow infinitely more able to cut through troops then my guys just doesn't appeal to me.
GeoWarfare is probably the most simple an RTS can get and it's still too complex for me. Personally, I think this genre doesn't really deserve its moniker. I get the whole "real time" thing, but where does the strategy come in? Personally, every day I find more and more evidence for the theory that RTS games were just conceived for the purpose of attracting boring, self-proclaimed intellectuals who view the video gaming artform as the human equivalent of throwing poo at a wall and giggling. Thus, they were given a genre just as banal as themselves, with the title of "strategy game" to make them feel smart, which is what they thrive on. That title is doubly insulting because it implies that other games, even noble shooting galleries like Starfox 64, don't require strategy.
Perhaps I'm being too close-minded about the RTS, but honestly the only fun I've ever had with RTS elements is when I was playing Starfox 2, and that game wasn't even released. I had to play on an emulator.
Recently, I've attempted to inflate my own ego by looking at by viewership statistics, and it appears my meager blog has reached more than just my few close friends and the occasional DigiPen student. I've still got an audience small enough to make the world's biggest hipster squeal with glee, but I'd wager at least one guy out there likes RTS games. By all means, explain why. I've always held to the notion that there is beauty in every genre, but I'm having a rough time applying that notion to the RTS.
Well, there's my rant for today. Until next time, stay strategic.
Links
more splodey cubes: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=490
Yahtzee's feelings on RTS games: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6JNqMjouNc
Well, after playing with it for as long as it took to get me more bored than I was just sitting in a cafeteria waiting for my friends to get knocked out of a debate tournament one by one, I can make one definite conclusion...there's definitely no resource management.
Maybe I just don't understand how to play games like this, but I'm with Yahtzee on this one. sending hoards of my men to get slaughtered by equally numbered, equally armed, yet somehow infinitely more able to cut through troops then my guys just doesn't appeal to me.
GeoWarfare is probably the most simple an RTS can get and it's still too complex for me. Personally, I think this genre doesn't really deserve its moniker. I get the whole "real time" thing, but where does the strategy come in? Personally, every day I find more and more evidence for the theory that RTS games were just conceived for the purpose of attracting boring, self-proclaimed intellectuals who view the video gaming artform as the human equivalent of throwing poo at a wall and giggling. Thus, they were given a genre just as banal as themselves, with the title of "strategy game" to make them feel smart, which is what they thrive on. That title is doubly insulting because it implies that other games, even noble shooting galleries like Starfox 64, don't require strategy.
Perhaps I'm being too close-minded about the RTS, but honestly the only fun I've ever had with RTS elements is when I was playing Starfox 2, and that game wasn't even released. I had to play on an emulator.
Recently, I've attempted to inflate my own ego by looking at by viewership statistics, and it appears my meager blog has reached more than just my few close friends and the occasional DigiPen student. I've still got an audience small enough to make the world's biggest hipster squeal with glee, but I'd wager at least one guy out there likes RTS games. By all means, explain why. I've always held to the notion that there is beauty in every genre, but I'm having a rough time applying that notion to the RTS.
Well, there's my rant for today. Until next time, stay strategic.
Links
more splodey cubes: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=490
Yahtzee's feelings on RTS games: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6JNqMjouNc
Friday, April 12, 2013
GenJox
Alright, I admit I got a little heated in my last post. Certain aspects of game design just get me kind of...emotional. But I've cooled down now. I'm ready to take on the next challenge.
Much to my relief GenJox is an IGF student showcase finalist from the grand ol' year of 2001. Now, being an IGF finalist is by no means an instant indicator of quality (or even functionality if Commando Attack Sub is any indication), but it guarantees that at least one person playtested it...right?
well, yes. I would wager that multiple people playtested this one. The learning curve is a little too steep too fast, but once you get the hang of it, it's really fun.
It's your standard top-down bot vs bot deathmatch ordeal. you glide around the map, pick up weapons, use said weapons on other bots, profit. I honestly don't have much praise or criticism to offer, so I'm just going to comment on a few things that interested me.
First off, I don't think this game keeps score. It just seems to be an endless deathmatch (unless of course you play last man standing). It goes to show what this game is trying to be: a stress reliever. In that respect, it passes with flying colors. Since there's really no consequence for dying, you can just charge into battle carefree. That's not a positive quality in and of itself, but it's certainly great for catharsis.
uhm....yeah. That's it, really. It's a good stress reliever. I had fun with it, so yeah. Go nuts. Good job, DigiPen.
Links
https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=556
Much to my relief GenJox is an IGF student showcase finalist from the grand ol' year of 2001. Now, being an IGF finalist is by no means an instant indicator of quality (or even functionality if Commando Attack Sub is any indication), but it guarantees that at least one person playtested it...right?
well, yes. I would wager that multiple people playtested this one. The learning curve is a little too steep too fast, but once you get the hang of it, it's really fun.
It's your standard top-down bot vs bot deathmatch ordeal. you glide around the map, pick up weapons, use said weapons on other bots, profit. I honestly don't have much praise or criticism to offer, so I'm just going to comment on a few things that interested me.
First off, I don't think this game keeps score. It just seems to be an endless deathmatch (unless of course you play last man standing). It goes to show what this game is trying to be: a stress reliever. In that respect, it passes with flying colors. Since there's really no consequence for dying, you can just charge into battle carefree. That's not a positive quality in and of itself, but it's certainly great for catharsis.
uhm....yeah. That's it, really. It's a good stress reliever. I had fun with it, so yeah. Go nuts. Good job, DigiPen.
Links
https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=556
Gene
Guess what, guys?! I finded a Wifi!!
*ahem*
To quote the wise game philosopher Jon Jafari, I don't know what anything in this game is. It's one of those mind-rapey RTS games with horrible conveyance like Empyrean Contrata. I'm really tempted to stop the review there and dismiss it as a bad game, but I wouldn't feel right about that. After all, I did blaze right through the text dump at the beginning that explained what i needed to do (even though it's my right as a gamer to do just that). I will say, though, I'm starting to get suspicious of the professors over at DigiPen. I'm sure they're all very qualified and all, but how do you let your students get away with stuff like this? This should be one of the first lessons they learn: text dumps bad! It's fine if one or two bad apples try and pull it, but when there are more games that just settle for the lazy text instruction method than games that even try conveying instruction through the mechanics, something has definitely gone wrong. I understand that it's hard to convey all the necessary knowledge to play a complex genre like RTS, but you could at least give it a try!
ugh...alright, so now I'm going to strap in and force myself to read the instructions at the beginning. Let's see how it goes.
Welp, that did absolutely nothing. I'm going to establish a rule now for text-based tutorials. First off, you're not allowed to have them. If that fails, for whatever reason, you have to at least proofread the text on the screen. Come on, DigiPen is a college. How do they get away with the kind of mistakes that would make a 4th grade English teacher spiral into drunken depression? Even if the tutorial were grammatically sound, which it's not, it would still make no sense. They used too much game-specific terminology and the text wall was too esoteric as a result. I don't know what it means to mutate a gene in the context of a game I haven't played yet.
Okay, I think I've made my point by now that the game fails miserably at conveying instruction to the player, which is definitely enough to get thrown into my junk pile from the get go. However, I'm not going to let all this free hotel wifi go to waste. Let's dig in deep and get nitpickin...
*5 minutes later*
AARGH nevermind! I can't take it anymore! I refuse to accept that this is a problem with the genre. There is just no excuse for game design this esoteric and asinine! Again, I'm not a game designer. I couldn't make this game if I tried. But you know what was the key word in there? TRIED! I know it's tough to make a game that's actually fun to play, but please, please put in the effort and try to make it a little bit enjoyable!
As I subjected myself to this game, one of the other guys in my hotel room was playing The Walking Dead on his Ipad. He could hardly contain the paroxysms of glee that came from a game that was designed around the player. Gene seems like a game that was not meant to be played. Seriously, I'm guessing somewhere down the line, the designers made some kind of mistake that was so garish and game breaking that they decided to design the game so that the player ragequits before he gets to it.
That's all for now. I gotta cool down with some Astrobunny or something...
Links
This: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=1550
PS- this game advertises itself as "Simple and fun." FFFFFFFUUUUUU-
*ahem*
To quote the wise game philosopher Jon Jafari, I don't know what anything in this game is. It's one of those mind-rapey RTS games with horrible conveyance like Empyrean Contrata. I'm really tempted to stop the review there and dismiss it as a bad game, but I wouldn't feel right about that. After all, I did blaze right through the text dump at the beginning that explained what i needed to do (even though it's my right as a gamer to do just that). I will say, though, I'm starting to get suspicious of the professors over at DigiPen. I'm sure they're all very qualified and all, but how do you let your students get away with stuff like this? This should be one of the first lessons they learn: text dumps bad! It's fine if one or two bad apples try and pull it, but when there are more games that just settle for the lazy text instruction method than games that even try conveying instruction through the mechanics, something has definitely gone wrong. I understand that it's hard to convey all the necessary knowledge to play a complex genre like RTS, but you could at least give it a try!
ugh...alright, so now I'm going to strap in and force myself to read the instructions at the beginning. Let's see how it goes.
Welp, that did absolutely nothing. I'm going to establish a rule now for text-based tutorials. First off, you're not allowed to have them. If that fails, for whatever reason, you have to at least proofread the text on the screen. Come on, DigiPen is a college. How do they get away with the kind of mistakes that would make a 4th grade English teacher spiral into drunken depression? Even if the tutorial were grammatically sound, which it's not, it would still make no sense. They used too much game-specific terminology and the text wall was too esoteric as a result. I don't know what it means to mutate a gene in the context of a game I haven't played yet.
Okay, I think I've made my point by now that the game fails miserably at conveying instruction to the player, which is definitely enough to get thrown into my junk pile from the get go. However, I'm not going to let all this free hotel wifi go to waste. Let's dig in deep and get nitpickin...
*5 minutes later*
AARGH nevermind! I can't take it anymore! I refuse to accept that this is a problem with the genre. There is just no excuse for game design this esoteric and asinine! Again, I'm not a game designer. I couldn't make this game if I tried. But you know what was the key word in there? TRIED! I know it's tough to make a game that's actually fun to play, but please, please put in the effort and try to make it a little bit enjoyable!
As I subjected myself to this game, one of the other guys in my hotel room was playing The Walking Dead on his Ipad. He could hardly contain the paroxysms of glee that came from a game that was designed around the player. Gene seems like a game that was not meant to be played. Seriously, I'm guessing somewhere down the line, the designers made some kind of mistake that was so garish and game breaking that they decided to design the game so that the player ragequits before he gets to it.
That's all for now. I gotta cool down with some Astrobunny or something...
Links
This: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=1550
PS- this game advertises itself as "Simple and fun." FFFFFFFUUUUUU-
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Gelatin Joe
Context time, yay! As I write this I'm "researching" for a debate tournament tomorrow. State champs, woohoo! Anyways, I'm going to be pretty inactive this weekend for that reason. I'll try to make up for it on Sunday, but the backlog of homework is probably going to prevent that. Oh well.
Let's talk about Gelatin Joe. The main premise of the game is that you roll around collecting different color blobs. You use these blobs to solve puzzles and progress through the levels. It's a simple mechanic that was pulled off very well. See, when you use a particular blob, that blob gets dropped on the floor so that if you mess up, you can just get the blob and try again. Who cares if it violates the law of conservation of energy? It's awesome!
I can't spend much more time writing this, so I'm just going to recommend this game. It achieves everything it sets out to. The only problem I have with it is that when you die, you go back to the beginning of the level. Everything else about it is good. perfect. flawless. 10 stars. cut, print, genius.
yay.
Links
Jelly Gerard: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=459
Let's talk about Gelatin Joe. The main premise of the game is that you roll around collecting different color blobs. You use these blobs to solve puzzles and progress through the levels. It's a simple mechanic that was pulled off very well. See, when you use a particular blob, that blob gets dropped on the floor so that if you mess up, you can just get the blob and try again. Who cares if it violates the law of conservation of energy? It's awesome!
I can't spend much more time writing this, so I'm just going to recommend this game. It achieves everything it sets out to. The only problem I have with it is that when you die, you go back to the beginning of the level. Everything else about it is good. perfect. flawless. 10 stars. cut, print, genius.
yay.
Links
Jelly Gerard: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=459
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