...what...what the hell even was this?
No, you know what? I don't feel bad about leaving this one hanging. I promised to do GAME reviews. This is not a game...this is a mindrape.
Don't get me wrong, it's good...really good...but I just don't know what I can say about it. It just destroyed my mind.
I guess I can give a few examples of times when my mind was thoroughly ruined. I think my favorite was when the game brought up a picture of my friend Luis's dog, which is weird because I didn't think I had any pictures of her on my computer.
creeepppyyyy..........
I would give this game my seal of approval, but I'm not exactly sure what I approve of. So you know what? I'm making a completely new award just for this game: The Dean Rodman Certificate of Psychological Debauchery. Sure
Links
This: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=24646
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Nitronic Rush
aaaaawwwwwwwwwwwww yeeeahhhhhhh
Here it is, the game that started it all. The one that inspired me to piss off my guidance counselor by devoting half an hour of my day on playing games instead of my schoolwork. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Nitronic Rush.
This game is amazing. I don't even feel like I need to review it. Just play it for yourself and see why it's awesome. I remember that fateful day when my buddy Luis strolled into the cafeteria, plopped down at our usual table, whipped out his laptop and booted up this game. "I think you'd like this," he said.
And like it I did. It grabbed my attention with its beautiful aesthetic and kept it with its innovative design. Upon returning home that day, I hopped straight onto the google machine and downloaded it for myself.
Five days later, I had completed all the levels. I remember thinking to myself, "If this is what DigiPen has to offer, I can't in good conscience stop here. I've got to check out more." And lo, fivehundredgames.blogspot.com was born.
I've been delighted and disappointed by my experiences since then, but Nitronic Rush will always live on in my heart as one of the few games that's ever truly inspired me. But what is it exactly that makes the game so good?
Well, I would say that it's just impossible not to be in the mood for it. There are plenty of easy levels if you want to just immerse yourself in the mechanics, but there are also a bunch of levels that truly deserve the title "hardcore." There's an arena mode where you can rack up points by doing tricks, and the whole thing is just a neon-bright barrel of fun from beginning to end.
The central theme of this game seems to be "why the hell not?"
"Should we attach wings to this car and make it a plane?"
"why the hell not?"
etc. etc. etc.
The difficulty is just right, there are plenty of checkpoints to keep you from getting frustrated, and the mechanics...oh, the mechanics! They are all centered around giving you that rush of adrenaline that reminds you why you play racing games in the first place.
Now, the game does have its flaws. Some of the challenge levels are a bit frustrating, lacking checkpoints and all, and certain mechanics are really annoying to master, like the wall-riding. But wherein lies true beauty but in imperfections? That's what this game is, really. True beauty.
I admit I might be getting a bit too sentimental over this game. After all, there have been other games on this list that have impressed me just as much as this one has. Regardless, this game is an instant classic and you'd be doing yourself a disservice by not clicking the link below.
That's all I got for now. Until next time, stay inspirational.
Links
Flytronic Mush: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=25266
Here it is, the game that started it all. The one that inspired me to piss off my guidance counselor by devoting half an hour of my day on playing games instead of my schoolwork. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Nitronic Rush.
This game is amazing. I don't even feel like I need to review it. Just play it for yourself and see why it's awesome. I remember that fateful day when my buddy Luis strolled into the cafeteria, plopped down at our usual table, whipped out his laptop and booted up this game. "I think you'd like this," he said.
And like it I did. It grabbed my attention with its beautiful aesthetic and kept it with its innovative design. Upon returning home that day, I hopped straight onto the google machine and downloaded it for myself.
Five days later, I had completed all the levels. I remember thinking to myself, "If this is what DigiPen has to offer, I can't in good conscience stop here. I've got to check out more." And lo, fivehundredgames.blogspot.com was born.
I've been delighted and disappointed by my experiences since then, but Nitronic Rush will always live on in my heart as one of the few games that's ever truly inspired me. But what is it exactly that makes the game so good?
Well, I would say that it's just impossible not to be in the mood for it. There are plenty of easy levels if you want to just immerse yourself in the mechanics, but there are also a bunch of levels that truly deserve the title "hardcore." There's an arena mode where you can rack up points by doing tricks, and the whole thing is just a neon-bright barrel of fun from beginning to end.
The central theme of this game seems to be "why the hell not?"
"Should we attach wings to this car and make it a plane?"
"why the hell not?"
etc. etc. etc.
The difficulty is just right, there are plenty of checkpoints to keep you from getting frustrated, and the mechanics...oh, the mechanics! They are all centered around giving you that rush of adrenaline that reminds you why you play racing games in the first place.
Now, the game does have its flaws. Some of the challenge levels are a bit frustrating, lacking checkpoints and all, and certain mechanics are really annoying to master, like the wall-riding. But wherein lies true beauty but in imperfections? That's what this game is, really. True beauty.
I admit I might be getting a bit too sentimental over this game. After all, there have been other games on this list that have impressed me just as much as this one has. Regardless, this game is an instant classic and you'd be doing yourself a disservice by not clicking the link below.
That's all I got for now. Until next time, stay inspirational.
Links
Flytronic Mush: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=25266
NiteLite
This game's description boasts that the game "utilizes Microsoft Kinect," so right off the bat, I suspected that this game would be as broken as a cell phone in a dishwasher. Lo and behold, I was right. I don't have a Kinect, so this game equates, for me, to a menu screen with the words "hold up your hands to begin." Like an idiot, I actually stood there waving my hands in front of my webcam for a few moments before realizing that the program never even asked my permission to use the webcam. Moreover, the "on" light that goes on whenever the webcam is in use was off. So yeah, today we learned that Dean's brain is about as competent as a hamster in zero-G.
Links
Ninja vs. Ninja
Yeah, this one was interesting. It did a lot of things way wrong and a lot of things way right. Let's get started.
First, I have to talk about the sound direction. There is no sound whatsoever in the menu screen, so I thought this was gonna be another one of those no-sound games (side note: Blogger recognizes "gonna" as a word, but not "gameplay"). I was slightly delighted to hear music start playing once I started the game, but the song that plays is so bad, so ear-twistingly awful, that I had to mute my computer. Proper sound direction does not a good game make, but bad sound direction can really sour the experience.
Alright, now that we've covered that, let me bring up a word that hasn't been used here for a while: conveyance. For the most part, this game does a pretty good job of explaining itself, but I do have a minor complaint about the fireball. It's by far the coolest attack in the game, so naturally you'd want to use it, but the game doesn't adequately tell you how. I had to access the "how to play" screen (which, as far as I'm concerned, means the game's conveyance is inadequate) to find out that you fire them with "F." Okay, you got me. "F" for "fireball," I should have seen that, but come on. On the hierarchy of buttons that perform actions in a shooter game, "f" is pretty low on the list. It should have been RMB, which just makes your character punch, an utterly useless attack (if it's even an attack; I never attempted to use it on an enemy) because you have an unlimited supply of shuriken to throw. Even if you wanted to keep it as "F," you gotta give me some kind of clue; but a little "F" on the fireball icon or something, jeez.
Next up, visual design. I could talk about how the characters look like pre-packaged models from Blender or how the level is literally composed only of rectangles, but I was never a graphics-oriented gamer. My main concern is something that can't be answered by citing the number of polygons in a given model. I just want to know whether it looks good. In the case of this game...eh, I wasn't bothered by it but I can certainly see why other people might be. There's certainly nothing to praise.
As unimpressive as the stage might look, I certainly think it was designed well. certain walls are just tall enough that you can't clear them with one jump, which is a good way to indicate to the player "hey, you should totally try double-jumping to get on top of this wall and get the drop on the enemy." See that? That's how you convey things!
Overall, this came was nothing amazing, but I had fun with it. If you can put up with minimalist visual design and piss-poor sound direction, then I recommend playing around with this one for a bit.
That's all I got for now. Until next time, stay deadly
Links
Ninjas kill each other: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=421
First, I have to talk about the sound direction. There is no sound whatsoever in the menu screen, so I thought this was gonna be another one of those no-sound games (side note: Blogger recognizes "gonna" as a word, but not "gameplay"). I was slightly delighted to hear music start playing once I started the game, but the song that plays is so bad, so ear-twistingly awful, that I had to mute my computer. Proper sound direction does not a good game make, but bad sound direction can really sour the experience.
Alright, now that we've covered that, let me bring up a word that hasn't been used here for a while: conveyance. For the most part, this game does a pretty good job of explaining itself, but I do have a minor complaint about the fireball. It's by far the coolest attack in the game, so naturally you'd want to use it, but the game doesn't adequately tell you how. I had to access the "how to play" screen (which, as far as I'm concerned, means the game's conveyance is inadequate) to find out that you fire them with "F." Okay, you got me. "F" for "fireball," I should have seen that, but come on. On the hierarchy of buttons that perform actions in a shooter game, "f" is pretty low on the list. It should have been RMB, which just makes your character punch, an utterly useless attack (if it's even an attack; I never attempted to use it on an enemy) because you have an unlimited supply of shuriken to throw. Even if you wanted to keep it as "F," you gotta give me some kind of clue; but a little "F" on the fireball icon or something, jeez.
Next up, visual design. I could talk about how the characters look like pre-packaged models from Blender or how the level is literally composed only of rectangles, but I was never a graphics-oriented gamer. My main concern is something that can't be answered by citing the number of polygons in a given model. I just want to know whether it looks good. In the case of this game...eh, I wasn't bothered by it but I can certainly see why other people might be. There's certainly nothing to praise.
As unimpressive as the stage might look, I certainly think it was designed well. certain walls are just tall enough that you can't clear them with one jump, which is a good way to indicate to the player "hey, you should totally try double-jumping to get on top of this wall and get the drop on the enemy." See that? That's how you convey things!
Overall, this came was nothing amazing, but I had fun with it. If you can put up with minimalist visual design and piss-poor sound direction, then I recommend playing around with this one for a bit.
That's all I got for now. Until next time, stay deadly
Links
Ninjas kill each other: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=421
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