Robox

"Hey I got an idea."
"Yeah?"
"Why don't we make Mike Tyson's Punch Out but with robots?"
"Great idea!  Nobody's ever done that before"
"I know, right?  Hey, wanna play Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots?"
"Boy, do I!"
/snark

So yeah, Robox is a simple boxing game wherein you can choose one of 3 robots: the strong one, the fast one or the all-rounder.  Much like in Punch-Out, you're locked in place and your only movement controls are a quick left dodge and a quick right dodge.  Other than that, you're armed with only punches and a block.

While slightly restrictive, this setup can provide for buckets of fun, and Punch-Out wasn't the only game to prove that.  Even the Punch-Out ripoffs like Rage of the Gladiator are pretty enjoyable, but what those games had that Robox doesn't is good game feel.  This came from the stylized graphics (to Robox's ugly, boxy 3D art), satisfying sound effects (to Robox's screechy grunts that makes me want to clean my ears with battery acid) and hit sparks (to Robox's 0 feedback).

Let it never be said, however, that I am a gamer to be swayed by aesthetics alone.  I'm the guy who actually finishes his replays of Deus Ex because what I really care about is the game design, not the visual design.  So once you get past the god awful sound your robot makes when he punches, is Robox still fun to play?  Well...kinda.  1/4 of the time.

Before every fight, there's a little text introduction to the robot you're about to spar with.  In that introduction, the game tells you *exactly* how to beat that robot.  See, Punch-Out was more than willing to stick a band-aid on King Hippo's belly and let you figure it out from there, but Robox thinks you're never going to figure out the incredibly complex strategy of "dodge the punches and hit the mean man."

Each robot only has 1 attack move that he sticks to rather religiously.  Come on, the NES game had more variety than that, and that was on the NES!  The only fight worth having is the one against BossBot, who employs all three strategies that you've faced before (see, it's good conveyance, blahblahblah NO IT'S NOT). I would totally play this game more if I could go straight to BossBot, but the fact that I have to sit through the other 3 pitiful fights first makes the slightly satisfying reward of the final fight much less satisfying.

That's all I got for now.  Until next time, keep your guard up.

Links
Box, ro: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=1652