this gaem are hurt mai brain
*ahem*
Knick-Knack-Knock is a game in which you manipulate the environment in order to crush your enemies with blocks. It's a neat concept, so consider the first test passed. However, if there's one thing life in high school has taught me, it's that passing one test does not shield you from bitter failure in the long run.
I played this game twice. The first time, I ragequit on an early level because I couldn't figure out the controls. Then I started blogging angrily. I wanted to quote the game's instructions directly, so I fired it up again and was able to figure out the controls. Once I got that down, the game went from "saddening disappointment" to "inventive puzzle game" real quick.
Alright, let's do a good ol' analysis, shall we?
In terms of aesthetic, the game goes for a kind of pixel art-ASCII hybrid. I guess it's cute in its own right, but it kind of demands other design choices that infuriate me. For example, the music is just a 3-second loop that repeats over and over. If it were anything complex, the game wouldn't feel like something you could play in the 70s.
The gameplay is really where it's at. The controls are simple and intuitive with one really unique feature. The window that the game plays in actually behaves like it's a box that you can move around. By dragging the window around, you can manipulate the objects in the game. It's a neat way to break the fourth wall whilst enhancing the gameplay. This feature is the kind of thing that made me want to embark upon this blogging journey in the first place. Way too many of these games play it safe. I understand that these projects are a way of teaching students how to create games and therefore can't deviate too far from the standard formulae, but still.
For its smart level design and unique mechanics that genuinely caught me by surprise, this game gets my seal of approval (though I think it could've done without the pretentious visual style, but that's just me). Until next time, stay inventive.
Links
Name most likely inspired by a Banjo Kazooie level: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=18869
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Friday, May 24, 2013
Kitchen Khaos
Aside from this game's title's butchering of basic spelling, there is really only one egregious fault with it. It's multiplayer-exclusive. If you've read my other posts, you know that I'm an antisocial bum who doesn't have anyone but his technologically illiterate mother to play with. Actually, that's not entirely true. This time, I got my lovely girlfriend to try and play with me, but there was another problem. At the beginning of the game, it says "Xbox 360 controller preferred," but what it should say is "Xbox 360 controller required" because I couldn't get it to register my Logitech Dual Action.™ My girlfriend has some of those fancy shmancy Xbox controllers at her house, so maybe we'll go back and edit this review some other time.
oh well...until then, I guess.
Links
Kitchen Khaos: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=24643
My girlfriend blogs too: http://vivalavidaconamor.blogspot.com/
oh well...until then, I guess.
Links
Kitchen Khaos: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=24643
My girlfriend blogs too: http://vivalavidaconamor.blogspot.com/
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Kisses
Before I begin, let me address two things. First, I at some point in the next week or two, I'm going to need to send my laptop to the repair shop. I might be able to use my old machine (if it still works) to update the blog, but there's still a chance that I'll be going dark for a couple days.
Second, some of you out there may be thinking, "What's he going to do now that games from the 2012-2013 academic year are pouring in and disrupting the alphabetical system?" Well, my plan is to first ignore the games from this year and, once I've finished with the other ones, go back and review this year's installments before the year's end (hopefully).
Alright, enough beating around the bush, let's get to Kisses (you should totally use that line on a date. Guaranteed success).
So I started up the game, got through a few menus, and screamed very loudly. The avatar that is supposed to represent you is the most horrifying thing mankind has yet to contrive. I'm not going to dwell on this, but let me just say that the uncanny valley called...
After that, I sat through a competent if boring tutorial during which I was instructed about the mechanics of the game. Essentially, it's resource management with a pinch of romance...just a pinch. See, the game seems to center itself around building up relationships with AI of the opposite sex (and hey, no love for the gay crowd? Eh, whatever). Building a game like that is fine as long as the player can actually get invested in the characters. Otherwise, it just gets boring. Ever wonder why there are so many dating sims out there based on popular anime? It's because those shows already made their viewers care for the characters, so all someone has to do to make a decent dating sim is to take those characters and make them smooch. Easy.
So, needless to say, I won't be giving any kisses to Kisses any time soon. Apart from the boring relationship mechanics, the entire game boils down to walking to a place to collect resources, going back to your igloo to refine them, and then consuming them. It's terribly formulaic and gets real tedious real fast.
I do have to say, though, apart from its less than stellar design, Kisses is damn amazing on the technical end. The textures are pretty impressive, especially since this was done in 2003. The framerate is solid and I didn't encounter any glitches. So there, a diamond in the rough.
That's all I got for now. Until next time, stay warm
Links
Anti-Climactic Foreplay with People You Don't Really Care For: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=525
Second, some of you out there may be thinking, "What's he going to do now that games from the 2012-2013 academic year are pouring in and disrupting the alphabetical system?" Well, my plan is to first ignore the games from this year and, once I've finished with the other ones, go back and review this year's installments before the year's end (hopefully).
Alright, enough beating around the bush, let's get to Kisses (you should totally use that line on a date. Guaranteed success).
So I started up the game, got through a few menus, and screamed very loudly. The avatar that is supposed to represent you is the most horrifying thing mankind has yet to contrive. I'm not going to dwell on this, but let me just say that the uncanny valley called...
After that, I sat through a competent if boring tutorial during which I was instructed about the mechanics of the game. Essentially, it's resource management with a pinch of romance...just a pinch. See, the game seems to center itself around building up relationships with AI of the opposite sex (and hey, no love for the gay crowd? Eh, whatever). Building a game like that is fine as long as the player can actually get invested in the characters. Otherwise, it just gets boring. Ever wonder why there are so many dating sims out there based on popular anime? It's because those shows already made their viewers care for the characters, so all someone has to do to make a decent dating sim is to take those characters and make them smooch. Easy.
So, needless to say, I won't be giving any kisses to Kisses any time soon. Apart from the boring relationship mechanics, the entire game boils down to walking to a place to collect resources, going back to your igloo to refine them, and then consuming them. It's terribly formulaic and gets real tedious real fast.
I do have to say, though, apart from its less than stellar design, Kisses is damn amazing on the technical end. The textures are pretty impressive, especially since this was done in 2003. The framerate is solid and I didn't encounter any glitches. So there, a diamond in the rough.
That's all I got for now. Until next time, stay warm
Links
Anti-Climactic Foreplay with People You Don't Really Care For: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=525
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Kinetrix
Well, this one is kind of broken but not really. It's more my fault than the game's. See, my computer eats mice and the only mice that I own have long since been chewed through by something in my USB ports. Thus, I have to rely on the trackpad, which Kinetrix is not built for. It seems like a fun Tetris-y type game, but I can't judge it.
Maybe someone with a working mouse has some input...
Links
KinetriX: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=1414
Maybe someone with a working mouse has some input...
Links
KinetriX: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=1414
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Killblockmen I and II (kinda)
reeeeally short post today, guys. Fact is, Killblockmen is insubstantial and its sequel doesn't work...at least not for me at the moment.
So, let's talk about Killblockmen. It's an arena shooter where you're armed with a tommy gun with infinite ammo and ordered to kill blockmen. Sounds fun? Well, it's certainly not the next big blockbuster, but simplicity is bliss, right?
The problem with Killblockmen is that there's no variety. All you do is fire into a crowd of blockmen before they reach you. They can only use melee attacks, so this is kind of like a zombie shooter. You know how in Left for Dead the zombies can easily catch you from behind without you noticing? Well, take that and multiply the frustration by about a million, because there's no way to shove the blockmen off and only a few hits are enough to drop you.
It's a competently put together level, but not a very good game. I think of it as Painkiller but without all the creativity. If that sounds fun to you, give it a shot.
That's all I got for now. Until next time, stay genocidal.
Links
Kill Blockmen: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=420
Killblockmen2: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=1639
So, let's talk about Killblockmen. It's an arena shooter where you're armed with a tommy gun with infinite ammo and ordered to kill blockmen. Sounds fun? Well, it's certainly not the next big blockbuster, but simplicity is bliss, right?
The problem with Killblockmen is that there's no variety. All you do is fire into a crowd of blockmen before they reach you. They can only use melee attacks, so this is kind of like a zombie shooter. You know how in Left for Dead the zombies can easily catch you from behind without you noticing? Well, take that and multiply the frustration by about a million, because there's no way to shove the blockmen off and only a few hits are enough to drop you.
It's a competently put together level, but not a very good game. I think of it as Painkiller but without all the creativity. If that sounds fun to you, give it a shot.
That's all I got for now. Until next time, stay genocidal.
Links
Kill Blockmen: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=420
Killblockmen2: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=1639
Monday, May 20, 2013
Kabloom
Let's play word association, shall we? I say "Kaboom," and you say the first thing that pops into your head. What are some contenders? Violence? Anger? Explosions? Action? How about "planting trees?" Okay, you got me, that's 2 words, but that doesn't make the Title of this game any less silly....oh, wait. Ka-"bloom." I see what they did there....ugh...it's gonna be a long day.
In a nutshell, here's what you need to know about "Kabloom." It's not fun, it's not terribly interesting, but hot damn is it pretty. The cell-shaded look does wonders for my inner child, and wow does this game pull it off. Add to that the fact that you control the environment and you got yourself one good looking piece of software.
Of course, this is a "game," so let's analyze the gameplay. This is the kind of gameplay I'd expect from a "poetic experience" like Dreamside Maroon or, to a much lesser extent, Douse. The calming music, the lack of consequences and the pretty scenery set this game up for a perfect session of story time. So, how's the narrative?
It's unimaginative, dull and unoriginal. Maybe you think it's strange that the thing I critique most harshly in this game is its story, but come on! All the mechanics are centered around the narrative. The game even starts with a cute little nursery rhyme about the protagonist. This game is the equivalent of dog turds on a pedestal. You can extol the excrement as much as you'd like, but at the end of the day, it's still crap.
Still though, I'd say it's worth a playthrough just to experience the visual style. Once again...hot damn, this game is pretty
That's all I got for now. Until next time, stay germinated
Links
Rosie the Environmentally Friendly Elephant (no, I'm not kidding): https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=8718
In a nutshell, here's what you need to know about "Kabloom." It's not fun, it's not terribly interesting, but hot damn is it pretty. The cell-shaded look does wonders for my inner child, and wow does this game pull it off. Add to that the fact that you control the environment and you got yourself one good looking piece of software.
Of course, this is a "game," so let's analyze the gameplay. This is the kind of gameplay I'd expect from a "poetic experience" like Dreamside Maroon or, to a much lesser extent, Douse. The calming music, the lack of consequences and the pretty scenery set this game up for a perfect session of story time. So, how's the narrative?
It's unimaginative, dull and unoriginal. Maybe you think it's strange that the thing I critique most harshly in this game is its story, but come on! All the mechanics are centered around the narrative. The game even starts with a cute little nursery rhyme about the protagonist. This game is the equivalent of dog turds on a pedestal. You can extol the excrement as much as you'd like, but at the end of the day, it's still crap.
Still though, I'd say it's worth a playthrough just to experience the visual style. Once again...hot damn, this game is pretty
That's all I got for now. Until next time, stay germinated
Links
Rosie the Environmentally Friendly Elephant (no, I'm not kidding): https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=8718
Sunday, May 19, 2013
the ones that start with "J"
ooh, isn't this out of the ordinary? Well, don't get too excited. There are only 3 games on the list that start with "J" and one of them doesn't work. So yeah, this will be my first double-header review. Maybe I'll group these things together more in the future...maybe I won't. who knows.
Jet Packers is a fun, simple arcade game based on how high you can ascend. You need to collect fuel tanks in order to keep going, but watch out for those asteroids! Singleplayer mode is fun if insubstantial. Where I think this game really shines is the multiplayer. As usual, I didn't have anyone to play with, so I had to try and control both guys at once, but what I saw was potential for a heated competition. The bumping mechanics, the boosting that uses up some fuel...the game is filled with things to keep the experience engaging. Of course, since I didn't actually play multiplayer, this is all just assumption. The Singleplayer mode, the only thing I can really judge, was fun in a kind of Doodle Jump sort of way, but just didn't offer enough to keep me engaged for more than a few minutes.
Johnny Origin is a weird kind of broken. clicking on its icon just makes my cursor disappear until I alt+tab to a different screen...huh.
Junk Fighter is definitely the most intricate of the "J" games. First, let me address the title. I thought this was going to be a fighting game, but it's a space shooter. That would be the logical equivalent of me naming a boxing simulator "alien blaster 9000." But I digress.
This game has 2 different phases: the top-down space shooter and the ship builder. The former is a relatively fun challenge with a few minor design flaws and the latter is competently designed but not very rewarding.
First, the game part. The tutorial levels are way too long-winded and very clumsy at describing anything more complicated than "shoot the boss to kill it." After the almost insultingly easy tutorial levels, you will lose and lose a lot. The actual levels but the "hell" in "bullet hell." I think the main thing they were trying to accomplish with the design was making the player really feel challenged in customizing his ship. After all, a bigger ship with more guns can take down more enemies and reduce the amount of fire on the screen, but it will also be a bigger target.
And that brings us to the ship customization. The aforementioned quandry would make the customization screen fun and engaging if it weren't for one thing: the game already provides you with a multitude of ships far better than anything you and your puny brain can come up with. This completely defeats the purpose of the customization screen. The levels are way too brutal to allow you to screw around, so why would you not go with the professionally designed options? Even past that, the customization is far from balanced. The spread gun, as spread guns tend to be, is drastically overpowered, although with levels this brutal, it seems like the only way to win. It's not a bad game, but it can surely get frustrating.
Well, that's all I got for now. Until next time, stay diverse
Links
Jet Packers: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=24359
Johnny Origin: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=1407
Junk Fighter: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=8717
Jet Packers is a fun, simple arcade game based on how high you can ascend. You need to collect fuel tanks in order to keep going, but watch out for those asteroids! Singleplayer mode is fun if insubstantial. Where I think this game really shines is the multiplayer. As usual, I didn't have anyone to play with, so I had to try and control both guys at once, but what I saw was potential for a heated competition. The bumping mechanics, the boosting that uses up some fuel...the game is filled with things to keep the experience engaging. Of course, since I didn't actually play multiplayer, this is all just assumption. The Singleplayer mode, the only thing I can really judge, was fun in a kind of Doodle Jump sort of way, but just didn't offer enough to keep me engaged for more than a few minutes.
Johnny Origin is a weird kind of broken. clicking on its icon just makes my cursor disappear until I alt+tab to a different screen...huh.
Junk Fighter is definitely the most intricate of the "J" games. First, let me address the title. I thought this was going to be a fighting game, but it's a space shooter. That would be the logical equivalent of me naming a boxing simulator "alien blaster 9000." But I digress.
This game has 2 different phases: the top-down space shooter and the ship builder. The former is a relatively fun challenge with a few minor design flaws and the latter is competently designed but not very rewarding.
First, the game part. The tutorial levels are way too long-winded and very clumsy at describing anything more complicated than "shoot the boss to kill it." After the almost insultingly easy tutorial levels, you will lose and lose a lot. The actual levels but the "hell" in "bullet hell." I think the main thing they were trying to accomplish with the design was making the player really feel challenged in customizing his ship. After all, a bigger ship with more guns can take down more enemies and reduce the amount of fire on the screen, but it will also be a bigger target.
And that brings us to the ship customization. The aforementioned quandry would make the customization screen fun and engaging if it weren't for one thing: the game already provides you with a multitude of ships far better than anything you and your puny brain can come up with. This completely defeats the purpose of the customization screen. The levels are way too brutal to allow you to screw around, so why would you not go with the professionally designed options? Even past that, the customization is far from balanced. The spread gun, as spread guns tend to be, is drastically overpowered, although with levels this brutal, it seems like the only way to win. It's not a bad game, but it can surely get frustrating.
Well, that's all I got for now. Until next time, stay diverse
Links
Jet Packers: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=24359
Johnny Origin: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=1407
Junk Fighter: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=8717
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