This game fancies itself a "reverse bullet hell," which intrigued me because the fun of a bullet hell is that you are vastly outmatched by your adversaries, yet you get to overcome all odds and take down things a million times your size, so what would the reverse be? You crushing a relatively tiny spaceship with one shot to nobody's surprise? When the game also touts its "automatic running and automatic shooting," I'm left genuinely puzzled as to where the creators of this game expected to generate challenge.
Well, after playing the first level, I think I get it: "reverse bullet hell" is sort of a misnomer. Sure, there are bullets flying out of you at an alarming rate, reducing almost every enemy in your path to potato salad, but such things happen in Jetpack Joyride and Super C but I'd hardly classify those as "reverse bullet hell." what this game is, really, is a freerunning game.
In the first level, I don't think anything can kill you. All that happens if an enemy hits you or you run into a spikey wall is that your speed decreases. And you know what? I love that idea! A game like this that bases itself almost completely off speed and flow needs nothing more than for a player's mistake to result in the loss of speed and flow. The player learns their lesson, yet they don't have to perform the same sequence of tasks over and over again. There's still challenge, but the challenge is not in whether or not you'll beat the level, it's in how quickly and with how many points you'll do it. That structure provides a constant stream of fun and oodles of replay value.
But then...the next two levels happen. At first, it's nothing too harmful. There's a giant robot T-Rex following you, and if he catches up to you, you're toast. While I wasn't a fan of this addition, I see what they were trying to do. After all, it adds more incentive to go fast, which is what the game is all about. But then, in the third level, there's tons of stuff that can instakill you. Sometimes the giant robot spider following you will shoot a death beam across the top of the screen, forcing you to not jump for a few seconds, which is more of a frustration than a genuine challenge. Most annoyingly of all, there are certain gaps in the floor that kill you if you fall into them. I'm going at like 300mph, game! How do you expect me to predict whether or not I'll fall into a gap that's completely offscreen at the time of my jump?
Oh well. All-in-all, the game is still very fun. It's pleasing in every sense. The art is original and creative, the sounds meld together beautifully, and the gameplay is real adrenaline-pumping action. This one gets my seal of approval. Give it a go.
Links
Gotta Go Fast: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=24650
Saturday, August 10, 2013
Rocket Doll
You know, I like a game that doesn't overstay its welcome, but there's a fine line between concise and anemic. Rocket Doll has a grand total of 2 levels, each not lasting more than 5 minutes. I've always held to the notion that a game can be as short as it takes to explore its mechanics fully without dwelling on them, but if it only takes you 10 minutes then maybe you simply don't have enough mechanics to explore. In the case of Rocket Doll, I can think only of two: rocket jumping and hitting targets to lower walls...Jeez, when you look at it that way, 10 minutes seems kinda generous!
So yeah, the game loses points straightaway because of its length, but as long as those 10 minutes were fun, the game will still get a pass by me. So, were they? Well...kinda. I have the suspicion that the only reason those 10 minutes were fun was because I was throwing splodey rockets everywhere, because everything else about the game, while not too terrible, was pretty sub-par, which is a word I love using because it makes me sound like I'm sampling Merlot.
Anyway, the visual design would be impressive if this game were made in 2002, but that was more than a decade ago. You may think this sounds hypocritical for a guy who praises the N64 era as the greatest in video game history, but even games like Deus Ex, whose graphics are terribly dated, had some sense of visual consistency. Even without the white text at the start of a new level, I could immediately tell if I was in Hong Kong or Paris or what have you. In Rocket Doll, I had no idea where the hell I was. I knew I was probably somewhere underground because I was surrounded by dirt, but then there were green and yellow metal platforms and green force fields and what the hell is going on?
Besides, even games with horrible 3D art (like System Shock 2) still held my attention because of all the little things. I don't care that the characters faces look like paper masks because that's not what it takes to truly immerse. In Rocket Doll, what happened to the footstep sounds or the character grunts?
Well, there is some attention to detail. It is a little charming to see a splotch of soot where your rocket landed, but that's about it.
All-in-all, it's a sort of fun romp but it's not a game I would praise for its design elements. That's all I got for now. Until next time, stay splodey.
Links
Do a Docket Roll: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=26699
So yeah, the game loses points straightaway because of its length, but as long as those 10 minutes were fun, the game will still get a pass by me. So, were they? Well...kinda. I have the suspicion that the only reason those 10 minutes were fun was because I was throwing splodey rockets everywhere, because everything else about the game, while not too terrible, was pretty sub-par, which is a word I love using because it makes me sound like I'm sampling Merlot.
Anyway, the visual design would be impressive if this game were made in 2002, but that was more than a decade ago. You may think this sounds hypocritical for a guy who praises the N64 era as the greatest in video game history, but even games like Deus Ex, whose graphics are terribly dated, had some sense of visual consistency. Even without the white text at the start of a new level, I could immediately tell if I was in Hong Kong or Paris or what have you. In Rocket Doll, I had no idea where the hell I was. I knew I was probably somewhere underground because I was surrounded by dirt, but then there were green and yellow metal platforms and green force fields and what the hell is going on?
Besides, even games with horrible 3D art (like System Shock 2) still held my attention because of all the little things. I don't care that the characters faces look like paper masks because that's not what it takes to truly immerse. In Rocket Doll, what happened to the footstep sounds or the character grunts?
Well, there is some attention to detail. It is a little charming to see a splotch of soot where your rocket landed, but that's about it.
All-in-all, it's a sort of fun romp but it's not a game I would praise for its design elements. That's all I got for now. Until next time, stay splodey.
Links
Do a Docket Roll: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=26699
Friday, August 9, 2013
Rock-It Rails
I throw around the word "polish" a lot in these reviews, and I never really bothered to explain what I meant. There are many ways that word can be interpreted, so let me take this moment to expand upon what I mean a bit.
Polish is NOT having the latest and greatest and prettiest graphics, nor is it the elimination of boxy design elements or choppy animations, nor is it the quality of the sound effects or fluidity of the controls...okay, well maybe a bit of the last two, but my point is that in all the aforementioned areas, Rock-It Rails excels beautifully, but I still wouldn't call the game "polished"
What I really mean when I say polish is "the absence of silly mistakes." You know the kind. There are contradictory design elements where two people on the dev team clearly weren't communicating, but then there are design flaws that seem to have simply flown right over everyone's heads. Rock-It Rails has none of the former, but is filled with the latter.
The most noticeable yet least frequent flaw I ran into was that sometimes you can just phase right through a section of floor and get caught in a sort of underground limbo from which there is no escape. This may not seem like a big deal until you take into consideration the next problem:
There's a big fat unskippable narration type thing that explains the controls before you start the first level. And you have to listen to it every time you lose all 3 lives. 3 lives may seem like a lot, but then you realize:
the game is filled with cheap death areas. For instance, the levels are designed in such a way that I felt comfortable taking a leap of faith...and it worked! Then I tried it again in an area that looked exactly the same, and it didn't. So yeah. Your deaths are only going to be your fault like 1/3 of the time anyway, so those 3 lives don't exactly go a long way.
Alright, I've griped enough. Let me talk about the stuff I liked.
Well, the character design is well done. The little fake engine revving noise the main character makes when she grinds along rails is downright adorable and the professor man's voice seems like it was done by a professional. Everything is drawn in such a charming manner that were the game not filled with the aforementioned annoyances, I would totally have enough motivation to keep playing from the visual design alone.
Also, I like the game's premise and level design a lot. Essentially, you interact with rails, which are strewn all over the levels, in 3 different ways, by phasing through them, by bouncing off them, and by grinding along them. You swap through the modes with the mouse buttons. The first level (the only one I played before I quit) is designed fairly well minus all the cheap deaths. It's big and expansive to promote exploration and the rails are prevalent and fun to use enough that you'll have no problem backtracking and scouring every inch of the level.
So yeah, we have another episode of "great premise, bad execution." Perhaps now you'll understand a bit better what I mean when I say this game lacks polish, though it certainly won't seem that way when you first boot it up.
That's all I got for now. Until next time, stay scientific.
Links
vroom vroom yay: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=26702
Polish is NOT having the latest and greatest and prettiest graphics, nor is it the elimination of boxy design elements or choppy animations, nor is it the quality of the sound effects or fluidity of the controls...okay, well maybe a bit of the last two, but my point is that in all the aforementioned areas, Rock-It Rails excels beautifully, but I still wouldn't call the game "polished"
What I really mean when I say polish is "the absence of silly mistakes." You know the kind. There are contradictory design elements where two people on the dev team clearly weren't communicating, but then there are design flaws that seem to have simply flown right over everyone's heads. Rock-It Rails has none of the former, but is filled with the latter.
The most noticeable yet least frequent flaw I ran into was that sometimes you can just phase right through a section of floor and get caught in a sort of underground limbo from which there is no escape. This may not seem like a big deal until you take into consideration the next problem:
There's a big fat unskippable narration type thing that explains the controls before you start the first level. And you have to listen to it every time you lose all 3 lives. 3 lives may seem like a lot, but then you realize:
the game is filled with cheap death areas. For instance, the levels are designed in such a way that I felt comfortable taking a leap of faith...and it worked! Then I tried it again in an area that looked exactly the same, and it didn't. So yeah. Your deaths are only going to be your fault like 1/3 of the time anyway, so those 3 lives don't exactly go a long way.
Alright, I've griped enough. Let me talk about the stuff I liked.
Well, the character design is well done. The little fake engine revving noise the main character makes when she grinds along rails is downright adorable and the professor man's voice seems like it was done by a professional. Everything is drawn in such a charming manner that were the game not filled with the aforementioned annoyances, I would totally have enough motivation to keep playing from the visual design alone.
Also, I like the game's premise and level design a lot. Essentially, you interact with rails, which are strewn all over the levels, in 3 different ways, by phasing through them, by bouncing off them, and by grinding along them. You swap through the modes with the mouse buttons. The first level (the only one I played before I quit) is designed fairly well minus all the cheap deaths. It's big and expansive to promote exploration and the rails are prevalent and fun to use enough that you'll have no problem backtracking and scouring every inch of the level.
So yeah, we have another episode of "great premise, bad execution." Perhaps now you'll understand a bit better what I mean when I say this game lacks polish, though it certainly won't seem that way when you first boot it up.
That's all I got for now. Until next time, stay scientific.
Links
vroom vroom yay: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=26702
Thursday, August 8, 2013
Rock Station
Wow, they sure did spend a lot of time establishing a plot in the beginning of this game. I sure hope they don't immediately drop it as soon as gameplay starts...
womp.
womp.
wooooooomp.
But I digress. Remember all those space shooters like CUB3 and the other ones whose names I don't feel like digging through my archives to remember? Rock Station is that except instead of fighting a bunch of enemies designed to be enemies (you know the kind, like the little ones that take 1 hit to kill and those big leviathan battle cruisers), you fight AI-controlled ships that are all playable. It's like a fighting game, but in space and with lasers.
The game uses the same basic control scheme as CUB3 and Star Wars: Battlefront, you know. That lot. It works decently when you figure out how to use it, but it's not without its problems. First off, I had no idea how much health I had, but I was pretty sure I was getting hit more often that I was landing hits, so shouldn't I have lost that battle? Well I didn't. My opponent was turned into space dust.
Anyway, aiming your lasers is a bitch because they barely travel faster than the ship (which I guess would make sense, considering we're dealing with faster-than-light travel), so by the time you've figured out how far ahead of your opponent you have to aim in order to hit them, they've made some sort of sharp turn that you couldn't hope of pulling off in your wildest dreams, and once again, you're left to try desperately to figure out how to get behind an opponent while they're zipping around like mosquitoes and you're trying to deal with the world's least helpful GUI.
The graphics are nice, though. The characters are all incredibly stylized anime characters that look like they were drawn professionally. Apart from that, it's good to see 3D art that doesn't look like it could be accurately recreated with a few sheets of construction paper (looking at you, Robox). And speaking of Robox, the sound effects in this game didn't want to make me release a pack of savage mini wolves into my ears to claw away at my cochlea. However, it does get a tad bit grating listening to the same "pew pew" effect over and over and over again. Some background music wouldn't have gone amiss, that's for damn sure.
So yeah. Rock Station is a fun game, and I definitely prefer it to the other space shooters on this list, if for no other reason than it's much more satisfying to blow up your fellow man in a universe you understand than it is to blow up a faceless, nameless battle cruiser with no sense of context whatsoever. However, it's not without its flaws, and I can't recommend it to everyone. Perhaps I've become too hard to impress. After all, I was brought up on Starfox 64, and I've never had dogfights quite as fun or satisfying as the ones to be had therein.
That's all I got for now. Until next time, keep on rockin
Links
But there's no sound in space: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=513
womp.
womp.
wooooooomp.
But I digress. Remember all those space shooters like CUB3 and the other ones whose names I don't feel like digging through my archives to remember? Rock Station is that except instead of fighting a bunch of enemies designed to be enemies (you know the kind, like the little ones that take 1 hit to kill and those big leviathan battle cruisers), you fight AI-controlled ships that are all playable. It's like a fighting game, but in space and with lasers.
The game uses the same basic control scheme as CUB3 and Star Wars: Battlefront, you know. That lot. It works decently when you figure out how to use it, but it's not without its problems. First off, I had no idea how much health I had, but I was pretty sure I was getting hit more often that I was landing hits, so shouldn't I have lost that battle? Well I didn't. My opponent was turned into space dust.
Anyway, aiming your lasers is a bitch because they barely travel faster than the ship (which I guess would make sense, considering we're dealing with faster-than-light travel), so by the time you've figured out how far ahead of your opponent you have to aim in order to hit them, they've made some sort of sharp turn that you couldn't hope of pulling off in your wildest dreams, and once again, you're left to try desperately to figure out how to get behind an opponent while they're zipping around like mosquitoes and you're trying to deal with the world's least helpful GUI.
The graphics are nice, though. The characters are all incredibly stylized anime characters that look like they were drawn professionally. Apart from that, it's good to see 3D art that doesn't look like it could be accurately recreated with a few sheets of construction paper (looking at you, Robox). And speaking of Robox, the sound effects in this game didn't want to make me release a pack of savage mini wolves into my ears to claw away at my cochlea. However, it does get a tad bit grating listening to the same "pew pew" effect over and over and over again. Some background music wouldn't have gone amiss, that's for damn sure.
So yeah. Rock Station is a fun game, and I definitely prefer it to the other space shooters on this list, if for no other reason than it's much more satisfying to blow up your fellow man in a universe you understand than it is to blow up a faceless, nameless battle cruiser with no sense of context whatsoever. However, it's not without its flaws, and I can't recommend it to everyone. Perhaps I've become too hard to impress. After all, I was brought up on Starfox 64, and I've never had dogfights quite as fun or satisfying as the ones to be had therein.
That's all I got for now. Until next time, keep on rockin
Links
But there's no sound in space: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=513
Robox
"Hey I got an idea."
"Yeah?"
"Why don't we make Mike Tyson's Punch Out but with robots?"
"Great idea! Nobody's ever done that before"
"I know, right? Hey, wanna play Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots?"
"Boy, do I!"
/snark
So yeah, Robox is a simple boxing game wherein you can choose one of 3 robots: the strong one, the fast one or the all-rounder. Much like in Punch-Out, you're locked in place and your only movement controls are a quick left dodge and a quick right dodge. Other than that, you're armed with only punches and a block.
While slightly restrictive, this setup can provide for buckets of fun, and Punch-Out wasn't the only game to prove that. Even the Punch-Out ripoffs like Rage of the Gladiator are pretty enjoyable, but what those games had that Robox doesn't is good game feel. This came from the stylized graphics (to Robox's ugly, boxy 3D art), satisfying sound effects (to Robox's screechy grunts that makes me want to clean my ears with battery acid) and hit sparks (to Robox's 0 feedback).
Let it never be said, however, that I am a gamer to be swayed by aesthetics alone. I'm the guy who actually finishes his replays of Deus Ex because what I really care about is the game design, not the visual design. So once you get past the god awful sound your robot makes when he punches, is Robox still fun to play? Well...kinda. 1/4 of the time.
Before every fight, there's a little text introduction to the robot you're about to spar with. In that introduction, the game tells you *exactly* how to beat that robot. See, Punch-Out was more than willing to stick a band-aid on King Hippo's belly and let you figure it out from there, but Robox thinks you're never going to figure out the incredibly complex strategy of "dodge the punches and hit the mean man."
Each robot only has 1 attack move that he sticks to rather religiously. Come on, the NES game had more variety than that, and that was on the NES! The only fight worth having is the one against BossBot, who employs all three strategies that you've faced before (see, it's good conveyance, blahblahblah NO IT'S NOT). I would totally play this game more if I could go straight to BossBot, but the fact that I have to sit through the other 3 pitiful fights first makes the slightly satisfying reward of the final fight much less satisfying.
That's all I got for now. Until next time, keep your guard up.
Links
Box, ro: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=1652
"Yeah?"
"Why don't we make Mike Tyson's Punch Out but with robots?"
"Great idea! Nobody's ever done that before"
"I know, right? Hey, wanna play Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots?"
"Boy, do I!"
/snark
So yeah, Robox is a simple boxing game wherein you can choose one of 3 robots: the strong one, the fast one or the all-rounder. Much like in Punch-Out, you're locked in place and your only movement controls are a quick left dodge and a quick right dodge. Other than that, you're armed with only punches and a block.
While slightly restrictive, this setup can provide for buckets of fun, and Punch-Out wasn't the only game to prove that. Even the Punch-Out ripoffs like Rage of the Gladiator are pretty enjoyable, but what those games had that Robox doesn't is good game feel. This came from the stylized graphics (to Robox's ugly, boxy 3D art), satisfying sound effects (to Robox's screechy grunts that makes me want to clean my ears with battery acid) and hit sparks (to Robox's 0 feedback).
Let it never be said, however, that I am a gamer to be swayed by aesthetics alone. I'm the guy who actually finishes his replays of Deus Ex because what I really care about is the game design, not the visual design. So once you get past the god awful sound your robot makes when he punches, is Robox still fun to play? Well...kinda. 1/4 of the time.
Before every fight, there's a little text introduction to the robot you're about to spar with. In that introduction, the game tells you *exactly* how to beat that robot. See, Punch-Out was more than willing to stick a band-aid on King Hippo's belly and let you figure it out from there, but Robox thinks you're never going to figure out the incredibly complex strategy of "dodge the punches and hit the mean man."
Each robot only has 1 attack move that he sticks to rather religiously. Come on, the NES game had more variety than that, and that was on the NES! The only fight worth having is the one against BossBot, who employs all three strategies that you've faced before (see, it's good conveyance, blahblahblah NO IT'S NOT). I would totally play this game more if I could go straight to BossBot, but the fact that I have to sit through the other 3 pitiful fights first makes the slightly satisfying reward of the final fight much less satisfying.
That's all I got for now. Until next time, keep your guard up.
Links
Box, ro: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=1652
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Robotstacle course
When I play a game on this list, there are 3 reasons that I keep playing.
1) I'm having too much ding dang darn fun to stop.
2) I'm interested in how the plot develops from the point I'm at.
3) The game has given me so little to write about that I have to keep playing lest my review look more like a haiku.
Now you tell me...which of these things is not like the others?
Unfortunately, Robotstacle Course held my attention for the third reason and the third reason alone. What makes me even more angry is that after playing to the point of mind-numbing boredom, I still don't have much to say. The game is decently put together, but that's all it is. Everything works, albeit not well.
All right, there are some specific problems I had with the game, though it's mostly nitpicky stuff. For example, light blue is the predominant color used in the visual design, yet the soundtrack wants to set a frantic "hurry up, you're going to die" mood. Contradictory design is like the easiest flaw to avoid...how do you even make a mistake like that? Whatever...not a big deal.
The platforming can be a bit slippery some times. One notable segment had me jumping at the same bit of wall, changing nothing about my strategy, for more than a minute before it worked. Sometimes the platforms are a bit too high, sometimes your momentum is a bit too great, and the whole thing just feels kind of sloppy.
I do like the concept of placing certain platforms around the room prior to platforming to facilitate your completion of the level, but such a mechanic should really only be the icing on the cake rather than the spongey, fluffy goodness that holds it all together.
In short, this game isn't poorly designed. There's nothing about it that makes me too angry. But it's not fun, it's not interesting, and there are much better ways to spend your time. That's all I got for now. Until next time, stay on the DAMN PLATFORM YOU STUPID HUNK OF METAL
...okay so maybe I did get a little mad.
Links
Oh look, there's wordplay in the title. How original: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=26697
1) I'm having too much ding dang darn fun to stop.
2) I'm interested in how the plot develops from the point I'm at.
3) The game has given me so little to write about that I have to keep playing lest my review look more like a haiku.
Now you tell me...which of these things is not like the others?
Unfortunately, Robotstacle Course held my attention for the third reason and the third reason alone. What makes me even more angry is that after playing to the point of mind-numbing boredom, I still don't have much to say. The game is decently put together, but that's all it is. Everything works, albeit not well.
All right, there are some specific problems I had with the game, though it's mostly nitpicky stuff. For example, light blue is the predominant color used in the visual design, yet the soundtrack wants to set a frantic "hurry up, you're going to die" mood. Contradictory design is like the easiest flaw to avoid...how do you even make a mistake like that? Whatever...not a big deal.
The platforming can be a bit slippery some times. One notable segment had me jumping at the same bit of wall, changing nothing about my strategy, for more than a minute before it worked. Sometimes the platforms are a bit too high, sometimes your momentum is a bit too great, and the whole thing just feels kind of sloppy.
I do like the concept of placing certain platforms around the room prior to platforming to facilitate your completion of the level, but such a mechanic should really only be the icing on the cake rather than the spongey, fluffy goodness that holds it all together.
In short, this game isn't poorly designed. There's nothing about it that makes me too angry. But it's not fun, it's not interesting, and there are much better ways to spend your time. That's all I got for now. Until next time, stay on the DAMN PLATFORM YOU STUPID HUNK OF METAL
...okay so maybe I did get a little mad.
Links
Oh look, there's wordplay in the title. How original: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=26697
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
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