Wow, they sure did spend a lot of time establishing a plot in the beginning of this game. I sure hope they don't immediately drop it as soon as gameplay starts...
womp.
womp.
wooooooomp.
But I digress. Remember all those space shooters like CUB3 and the other ones whose names I don't feel like digging through my archives to remember? Rock Station is that except instead of fighting a bunch of enemies designed to be enemies (you know the kind, like the little ones that take 1 hit to kill and those big leviathan battle cruisers), you fight AI-controlled ships that are all playable. It's like a fighting game, but in space and with lasers.
The game uses the same basic control scheme as CUB3 and Star Wars: Battlefront, you know. That lot. It works decently when you figure out how to use it, but it's not without its problems. First off, I had no idea how much health I had, but I was pretty sure I was getting hit more often that I was landing hits, so shouldn't I have lost that battle? Well I didn't. My opponent was turned into space dust.
Anyway, aiming your lasers is a bitch because they barely travel faster than the ship (which I guess would make sense, considering we're dealing with faster-than-light travel), so by the time you've figured out how far ahead of your opponent you have to aim in order to hit them, they've made some sort of sharp turn that you couldn't hope of pulling off in your wildest dreams, and once again, you're left to try desperately to figure out how to get behind an opponent while they're zipping around like mosquitoes and you're trying to deal with the world's least helpful GUI.
The graphics are nice, though. The characters are all incredibly stylized anime characters that look like they were drawn professionally. Apart from that, it's good to see 3D art that doesn't look like it could be accurately recreated with a few sheets of construction paper (looking at you, Robox). And speaking of Robox, the sound effects in this game didn't want to make me release a pack of savage mini wolves into my ears to claw away at my cochlea. However, it does get a tad bit grating listening to the same "pew pew" effect over and over and over again. Some background music wouldn't have gone amiss, that's for damn sure.
So yeah. Rock Station is a fun game, and I definitely prefer it to the other space shooters on this list, if for no other reason than it's much more satisfying to blow up your fellow man in a universe you understand than it is to blow up a faceless, nameless battle cruiser with no sense of context whatsoever. However, it's not without its flaws, and I can't recommend it to everyone. Perhaps I've become too hard to impress. After all, I was brought up on Starfox 64, and I've never had dogfights quite as fun or satisfying as the ones to be had therein.
That's all I got for now. Until next time, keep on rockin
Links
But there's no sound in space: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=513
Thursday, August 8, 2013
Robox
"Hey I got an idea."
"Yeah?"
"Why don't we make Mike Tyson's Punch Out but with robots?"
"Great idea! Nobody's ever done that before"
"I know, right? Hey, wanna play Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots?"
"Boy, do I!"
/snark
So yeah, Robox is a simple boxing game wherein you can choose one of 3 robots: the strong one, the fast one or the all-rounder. Much like in Punch-Out, you're locked in place and your only movement controls are a quick left dodge and a quick right dodge. Other than that, you're armed with only punches and a block.
While slightly restrictive, this setup can provide for buckets of fun, and Punch-Out wasn't the only game to prove that. Even the Punch-Out ripoffs like Rage of the Gladiator are pretty enjoyable, but what those games had that Robox doesn't is good game feel. This came from the stylized graphics (to Robox's ugly, boxy 3D art), satisfying sound effects (to Robox's screechy grunts that makes me want to clean my ears with battery acid) and hit sparks (to Robox's 0 feedback).
Let it never be said, however, that I am a gamer to be swayed by aesthetics alone. I'm the guy who actually finishes his replays of Deus Ex because what I really care about is the game design, not the visual design. So once you get past the god awful sound your robot makes when he punches, is Robox still fun to play? Well...kinda. 1/4 of the time.
Before every fight, there's a little text introduction to the robot you're about to spar with. In that introduction, the game tells you *exactly* how to beat that robot. See, Punch-Out was more than willing to stick a band-aid on King Hippo's belly and let you figure it out from there, but Robox thinks you're never going to figure out the incredibly complex strategy of "dodge the punches and hit the mean man."
Each robot only has 1 attack move that he sticks to rather religiously. Come on, the NES game had more variety than that, and that was on the NES! The only fight worth having is the one against BossBot, who employs all three strategies that you've faced before (see, it's good conveyance, blahblahblah NO IT'S NOT). I would totally play this game more if I could go straight to BossBot, but the fact that I have to sit through the other 3 pitiful fights first makes the slightly satisfying reward of the final fight much less satisfying.
That's all I got for now. Until next time, keep your guard up.
Links
Box, ro: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=1652
"Yeah?"
"Why don't we make Mike Tyson's Punch Out but with robots?"
"Great idea! Nobody's ever done that before"
"I know, right? Hey, wanna play Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots?"
"Boy, do I!"
/snark
So yeah, Robox is a simple boxing game wherein you can choose one of 3 robots: the strong one, the fast one or the all-rounder. Much like in Punch-Out, you're locked in place and your only movement controls are a quick left dodge and a quick right dodge. Other than that, you're armed with only punches and a block.
While slightly restrictive, this setup can provide for buckets of fun, and Punch-Out wasn't the only game to prove that. Even the Punch-Out ripoffs like Rage of the Gladiator are pretty enjoyable, but what those games had that Robox doesn't is good game feel. This came from the stylized graphics (to Robox's ugly, boxy 3D art), satisfying sound effects (to Robox's screechy grunts that makes me want to clean my ears with battery acid) and hit sparks (to Robox's 0 feedback).
Let it never be said, however, that I am a gamer to be swayed by aesthetics alone. I'm the guy who actually finishes his replays of Deus Ex because what I really care about is the game design, not the visual design. So once you get past the god awful sound your robot makes when he punches, is Robox still fun to play? Well...kinda. 1/4 of the time.
Before every fight, there's a little text introduction to the robot you're about to spar with. In that introduction, the game tells you *exactly* how to beat that robot. See, Punch-Out was more than willing to stick a band-aid on King Hippo's belly and let you figure it out from there, but Robox thinks you're never going to figure out the incredibly complex strategy of "dodge the punches and hit the mean man."
Each robot only has 1 attack move that he sticks to rather religiously. Come on, the NES game had more variety than that, and that was on the NES! The only fight worth having is the one against BossBot, who employs all three strategies that you've faced before (see, it's good conveyance, blahblahblah NO IT'S NOT). I would totally play this game more if I could go straight to BossBot, but the fact that I have to sit through the other 3 pitiful fights first makes the slightly satisfying reward of the final fight much less satisfying.
That's all I got for now. Until next time, keep your guard up.
Links
Box, ro: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=1652
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Robotstacle course
When I play a game on this list, there are 3 reasons that I keep playing.
1) I'm having too much ding dang darn fun to stop.
2) I'm interested in how the plot develops from the point I'm at.
3) The game has given me so little to write about that I have to keep playing lest my review look more like a haiku.
Now you tell me...which of these things is not like the others?
Unfortunately, Robotstacle Course held my attention for the third reason and the third reason alone. What makes me even more angry is that after playing to the point of mind-numbing boredom, I still don't have much to say. The game is decently put together, but that's all it is. Everything works, albeit not well.
All right, there are some specific problems I had with the game, though it's mostly nitpicky stuff. For example, light blue is the predominant color used in the visual design, yet the soundtrack wants to set a frantic "hurry up, you're going to die" mood. Contradictory design is like the easiest flaw to avoid...how do you even make a mistake like that? Whatever...not a big deal.
The platforming can be a bit slippery some times. One notable segment had me jumping at the same bit of wall, changing nothing about my strategy, for more than a minute before it worked. Sometimes the platforms are a bit too high, sometimes your momentum is a bit too great, and the whole thing just feels kind of sloppy.
I do like the concept of placing certain platforms around the room prior to platforming to facilitate your completion of the level, but such a mechanic should really only be the icing on the cake rather than the spongey, fluffy goodness that holds it all together.
In short, this game isn't poorly designed. There's nothing about it that makes me too angry. But it's not fun, it's not interesting, and there are much better ways to spend your time. That's all I got for now. Until next time, stay on the DAMN PLATFORM YOU STUPID HUNK OF METAL
...okay so maybe I did get a little mad.
Links
Oh look, there's wordplay in the title. How original: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=26697
1) I'm having too much ding dang darn fun to stop.
2) I'm interested in how the plot develops from the point I'm at.
3) The game has given me so little to write about that I have to keep playing lest my review look more like a haiku.
Now you tell me...which of these things is not like the others?
Unfortunately, Robotstacle Course held my attention for the third reason and the third reason alone. What makes me even more angry is that after playing to the point of mind-numbing boredom, I still don't have much to say. The game is decently put together, but that's all it is. Everything works, albeit not well.
All right, there are some specific problems I had with the game, though it's mostly nitpicky stuff. For example, light blue is the predominant color used in the visual design, yet the soundtrack wants to set a frantic "hurry up, you're going to die" mood. Contradictory design is like the easiest flaw to avoid...how do you even make a mistake like that? Whatever...not a big deal.
The platforming can be a bit slippery some times. One notable segment had me jumping at the same bit of wall, changing nothing about my strategy, for more than a minute before it worked. Sometimes the platforms are a bit too high, sometimes your momentum is a bit too great, and the whole thing just feels kind of sloppy.
I do like the concept of placing certain platforms around the room prior to platforming to facilitate your completion of the level, but such a mechanic should really only be the icing on the cake rather than the spongey, fluffy goodness that holds it all together.
In short, this game isn't poorly designed. There's nothing about it that makes me too angry. But it's not fun, it's not interesting, and there are much better ways to spend your time. That's all I got for now. Until next time, stay on the DAMN PLATFORM YOU STUPID HUNK OF METAL
...okay so maybe I did get a little mad.
Links
Oh look, there's wordplay in the title. How original: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=26697
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Robbin Hook
oh, I get it...cuz it sounds like Robin Hood, but he uses a hook to rob people...so he's a robbin' hook...hyeh..
In the past, I've had good experiences with swinging games, especially on this list. Something about Spidermanning through levels at high speeds just tickles my brain.
So take it with a grain of salt when I say Robbin Hook has the most unintuitive swinging mechanics I've experienced in a game on this list so far. In context, that's not really a bad thing. That's like saying your Siberian husky isn't quite as intimidating as a grizzly bear.
Really, the mechanics are fine, they just aren't quite as intuitive as the others, and what's so disheartening about this to me is that I have no idea why. It's just all too common a problem that I lose all my momentum for one reason or another, be it that I grazed the ground or wrapped around a platform or whatever else. Also, why the hell does my hook stay deployed when I hit the ground? I can't see a single scenario in which that would improve anything about the game. Robbin Hook had a crapload of playtesters, too. Not one of them decided to raise their hand and say, "uh, yeah. This is good and all, but keeping my hook deployed 2 feet away from me is kinda dumb."
So yeah. I don't really have much more to say other than casual and unspecific praise. The levels are thoughtfully designed, the menu screen is cute (although why they decided to make the "start game" button a tiny ass notebook that's about the least apparent thing in the room is beyond me), and I like the use of a level select with all levels unlocked from the get-go.
All in all...is good. That's all I got for today. Until next time, stay kleptomaniacal.
Links
I steal ur shiz: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=18537
In the past, I've had good experiences with swinging games, especially on this list. Something about Spidermanning through levels at high speeds just tickles my brain.
So take it with a grain of salt when I say Robbin Hook has the most unintuitive swinging mechanics I've experienced in a game on this list so far. In context, that's not really a bad thing. That's like saying your Siberian husky isn't quite as intimidating as a grizzly bear.
Really, the mechanics are fine, they just aren't quite as intuitive as the others, and what's so disheartening about this to me is that I have no idea why. It's just all too common a problem that I lose all my momentum for one reason or another, be it that I grazed the ground or wrapped around a platform or whatever else. Also, why the hell does my hook stay deployed when I hit the ground? I can't see a single scenario in which that would improve anything about the game. Robbin Hook had a crapload of playtesters, too. Not one of them decided to raise their hand and say, "uh, yeah. This is good and all, but keeping my hook deployed 2 feet away from me is kinda dumb."
So yeah. I don't really have much more to say other than casual and unspecific praise. The levels are thoughtfully designed, the menu screen is cute (although why they decided to make the "start game" button a tiny ass notebook that's about the least apparent thing in the room is beyond me), and I like the use of a level select with all levels unlocked from the get-go.
All in all...is good. That's all I got for today. Until next time, stay kleptomaniacal.
Links
I steal ur shiz: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=18537
Monday, August 5, 2013
Rhinopocalypse (kinda)
Well, I promised you 4 reviews, today, and I was getting really tired after Rex Texas, but I'm a man of my word, so I decided to pull through for Rhinopocalypse, but it appears that karma was in my favor, because the download is not yet available. Yaaay! But of course, that means that in order to keep my integrity, I'll have to check up on this game every so often and review it if the download becomes available before the year's end. Booo.
The next game on the list looks interesting, so maybe I'll give it a shot, but right now, my compulsion to play System Shock 2 is much more powerful, and when I start playing System Shock 2, I'm usually too brain-dead to think about reviewing a game afterward, so we'll see how this goes.
That's all I got for now. Until next time, stay as dishonest as it takes to keep being honest. myaw haw hawwwww
The next game on the list looks interesting, so maybe I'll give it a shot, but right now, my compulsion to play System Shock 2 is much more powerful, and when I start playing System Shock 2, I'm usually too brain-dead to think about reviewing a game afterward, so we'll see how this goes.
That's all I got for now. Until next time, stay as dishonest as it takes to keep being honest. myaw haw hawwwww
Rex Texas
Whooo-ee, git along, lil' doggy!
I was amused by how little the developers of this little gem seemed to know about what a stereotypical Texan looks like, because for a guy whose name translates to "King of Texas," the titular character looks less like a cowboy and more like "Rico Rodriguez Jr." It's weird, because the icon for this game is a guy in a 10-gallon hat assembled about as crudely as one would expect his moral and intellectual spirits to be (just kidding, Texas. I love you <3).
anyhow, my relative impression of Rex Texas, if drawn on a graph, would sort of resemble a beautiful Texas mountainside. For all who would rather I do the visualizing for them, that looks a bit like this:
/|
/ |
/ |
/ |
/ |
____/ |
Boy howdy, I hate making half-assed ASCII art. The things I do for my nigh-nonexistent audience...
Now, let's break that graph down a bit, shall we? Let's start with the ground-level line at the beginning. first impressions of Rex Texas were a bit shaky. This may have been because the combination of amoxicillin and clavulanic acid in my system has basically reduced my digestive system to a porridge palatable only to those troll-things from The Hobbit, but I was nauseous within the first 5 minutes of play because the developers put way too much stake in the "world" part of the word "overworld" and designed the damn thing as a sphere that shifts along with you, making me feel almost seasick. Not only that, but dying was way too easy. In addition, I was not a fan of this game's "read a barely intelligible sign and hope for the best" method of conveyance which left me confused and completely out of flow.
I started climbing the metaphorical mountain when I entered my first cave and got my first powerup, the double jump. Suddenly, traversing the map was more fun than it was in Just Cause 2. There are few better feelings that the DigiPen Game Gallery has made me feel than the one I get from watching Riccito hookshot onto a mountain and then do a little tumble-roll up onto a cliff. My immersion only increased as I explored the cave more and found more powerups that made exploring the overworld even more enjoyable and rewarding. It was honestly some of the most fun I've had in a very long time, and I've replayed more than a few of my favorite games this summer. It wasn't long before I found myself adding little games to the game, such as "hey, let's see if I can clear this cave without having Riccito touch the ground once" I couldn't help but notice, however, that the one thing this game lacked was direction.
Sure, you can occasionally stumble onto a map that points to a particular place on the map and says "you should totally check this place out," but even Just Cause 2 was able to justify your crazy mass murdering and exploration somehow. In this game, there's just kinda nothing. "This won't be a problem," I thought, "as long as the game lets me continue from where I left off after I exit." After all, this game is basically designed to be a toybox to distract you from your miserable life for a few wonderful moments before you go back to filling in timesheets, and being able to pick it up and put it down is essential to a game like that. Otherwise, it would make as much sense as an action figures that vaporizes once you stop playing with it.
And, since you already saw the graph, I'm pretty sure you all know where I'm going with this. I really hate it when developers forget that people might not want to sit through your game in one go. It doesn't matter how fun your game is, people aren't always going to have 3 hours free to get through your whole fiasco. That's why I was never a fan of the early NES games, but even with those, you could just pause the game and turn off your TV, but a computer is a device that gets absent-mindedly turned off and on all the time. Yeah, that's not my most compelling argument, but still. Learn how to make your game save a player's progress, dammit!
That's all I got for today. Until next time, stay a-grapplin'
Links
Text Lexus: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=1408
I was amused by how little the developers of this little gem seemed to know about what a stereotypical Texan looks like, because for a guy whose name translates to "King of Texas," the titular character looks less like a cowboy and more like "Rico Rodriguez Jr." It's weird, because the icon for this game is a guy in a 10-gallon hat assembled about as crudely as one would expect his moral and intellectual spirits to be (just kidding, Texas. I love you <3).
anyhow, my relative impression of Rex Texas, if drawn on a graph, would sort of resemble a beautiful Texas mountainside. For all who would rather I do the visualizing for them, that looks a bit like this:
/|
/ |
/ |
/ |
/ |
____/ |
Boy howdy, I hate making half-assed ASCII art. The things I do for my nigh-nonexistent audience...
Now, let's break that graph down a bit, shall we? Let's start with the ground-level line at the beginning. first impressions of Rex Texas were a bit shaky. This may have been because the combination of amoxicillin and clavulanic acid in my system has basically reduced my digestive system to a porridge palatable only to those troll-things from The Hobbit, but I was nauseous within the first 5 minutes of play because the developers put way too much stake in the "world" part of the word "overworld" and designed the damn thing as a sphere that shifts along with you, making me feel almost seasick. Not only that, but dying was way too easy. In addition, I was not a fan of this game's "read a barely intelligible sign and hope for the best" method of conveyance which left me confused and completely out of flow.
I started climbing the metaphorical mountain when I entered my first cave and got my first powerup, the double jump. Suddenly, traversing the map was more fun than it was in Just Cause 2. There are few better feelings that the DigiPen Game Gallery has made me feel than the one I get from watching Riccito hookshot onto a mountain and then do a little tumble-roll up onto a cliff. My immersion only increased as I explored the cave more and found more powerups that made exploring the overworld even more enjoyable and rewarding. It was honestly some of the most fun I've had in a very long time, and I've replayed more than a few of my favorite games this summer. It wasn't long before I found myself adding little games to the game, such as "hey, let's see if I can clear this cave without having Riccito touch the ground once" I couldn't help but notice, however, that the one thing this game lacked was direction.
Sure, you can occasionally stumble onto a map that points to a particular place on the map and says "you should totally check this place out," but even Just Cause 2 was able to justify your crazy mass murdering and exploration somehow. In this game, there's just kinda nothing. "This won't be a problem," I thought, "as long as the game lets me continue from where I left off after I exit." After all, this game is basically designed to be a toybox to distract you from your miserable life for a few wonderful moments before you go back to filling in timesheets, and being able to pick it up and put it down is essential to a game like that. Otherwise, it would make as much sense as an action figures that vaporizes once you stop playing with it.
And, since you already saw the graph, I'm pretty sure you all know where I'm going with this. I really hate it when developers forget that people might not want to sit through your game in one go. It doesn't matter how fun your game is, people aren't always going to have 3 hours free to get through your whole fiasco. That's why I was never a fan of the early NES games, but even with those, you could just pause the game and turn off your TV, but a computer is a device that gets absent-mindedly turned off and on all the time. Yeah, that's not my most compelling argument, but still. Learn how to make your game save a player's progress, dammit!
That's all I got for today. Until next time, stay a-grapplin'
Links
Text Lexus: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=1408
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