Infinite Ion (guest review)

“Luis, my fellow game-whore who has given up on writing guest reviews” he says. I’ll show him...I’ll show them all!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh. You’re here.

So after that very appreciated character assault, I thought it my duty to write a review. And yes, I will resort to cheap shots. Also, I’ll be reviewing it as I play, which means that I get to yell more, but which also means that my analysis may not be super spot on at times.

Pre-Game:

Infinite Ion is a game made by a bunch of sophomores. Their opening description is that it’s a “cooperative bullet hell shooter based on the concept of polarity, based on Ikaruga.” So, naturally, I had to go and see what Ikaruga was all about. And guess what, Ikaruga is a single-player bullet hell shooter based on the concept of polarity. Made initially for the Gamecube, you press A to (literally) flip between what I’ll just call the good Arwing and the evil Arwing. The good Arwing can’t be harmed by blue light bullets and the evil Arwing can’t be harmed by darkness bullets. Clever, but not too interesting.

Now, this game is a co-op game, and I’ve basically come to the conclusion that there are three kinds of co-op games on the market. Your first kind of co-op game would be your Borderlands and your Halo 3, where co-op is appreciated, but not necessary. Your second kind of co-op game would be your Portal 2, where it’s entirely separate from the rest of the game. And your third kind would be your Dead Space 3 and your Resident Evil The Last Few and your Borderlands 2, where it doesn’t need to be co-op, but for some reason is. Guess which one this game falls under?

The menu screen is pretty generic, with a small explosion particle effect thingy going on in the lower left, and all the options and stuff over a decidedly bland logo. The music is decidedly boring, because it sounds like it uses the same keyboard that they did for Deus Ex, but without all of the cool.

Also, since co-op is required, I’ve enlisted the help of my sixth grade brother, Napoleon, also known by his real name Matthew.

Post-Game:

“Look, it wasn’t something I would play again. Maybe I would give it one or two more goes.” This coming from the child that has poured so many hours into the Virtual Hat Simulator that is TF2 that he literally changed the Steam layout so that he wouldn’t be embarrassed by how many days he’s wasted playing it so far. Suffice it to say, kid knows a good game when he sees one.

Surprise surprise, the co-op “definitely was a feature, but wasn’t really necessary. It could’ve just been an option and not really forced upon you.” Honestly, he’s spot on. From a mechanical standpoint, having co-op does open up quite a few avenues for development, but these devs basically seem to have said “Ikaruga with a friend”

A solid third of the bullet patterns are specifically designed so that you can only complete them if both players simultaneously complete a specific and complex series of maneuvers. Which is not fun to do with two people. With one person, the excuse is, “Oh, I’m an ass, guess I need to pay more attention.” Here, you’re completely reliant on your partner, and not in a fun way. The game is your typical twitchy bullet hell fair, so mistakes are obviously going to abound, but when one mistake can lose you two of your shared six lives (side note: shared lives = stupid. Don’t do it.) everything becomes increasingly combative.

Gun upgrades are received through small gold coins of various sizes dropped by enemies. However, there’s nothing that explain the relative value of each coin, or how many you need to upgrade, etc.

The backgrounds were dull and uninspiring. The music changed each level but was so bland that I didn’t even notice it. The sound effects were...okay. Nothing more than they needed to be.

Honestly, I came away from this game thoroughly bored. The reason being that aside from the glaring unnecessary co-op, this game is just...dull. There’s nothing else that’s really wrong with it, but it’s just a kind of bland paste. If anything, it just proves that Ikaruga had some really cool ideas and solid execution that they tried their damndest to mimic and failed at.

Ion Paired: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=25886

Shameless Plug: http://potentiallymeaningful.blogspot.com/

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And thus, another honest day's work has been evaded.  Thanks, bud.  Since I don't have a mini-me to play with, you guys are just going to have to take Luis's word on this one.  

Incandescence

Prior to playing Incandescence, I was notified by Luis, my fellow game-whore who has given up on writing guest reviews but not on playing these games for kicks, that this was the game controls like a cheetah with an inner ear problem.  I'm paraphrasing, of course, but nevertheless, it's worth noting that I didn't go into this game very optimistically.  That in mind, let's play this thang.

Well the controls definitely aren't great, but I've played a lot worse.  Really the only problem is that the mouse sensitivity is too low, which wouldn't be a problem if the game allowed me to adjust it manually.  Instead, I got a perplexing control options screen where the only options are "invert y axis" and a blank field for you to type stuff into, which does nothing.  huh...

My main problem with the game is how it feels. Occasionally, you'll run into these glitchy-if-effective boost rails, which bring you up to a satisfying speed, but the momentum you gain from them runs out almost the instant you leave them.  The rest of the game is pretty sluggish, all things considered.  I'm just coasting around the city with no real sense of challenge or excitement.  It's just plain ol' boring.  If Igneous were paced like this, I would have torn it a new one because every other aspect of its design focuses on adrenaline.  Incandescence, with its blue tonality, calming sound direction and placid control style, and consequence-free level design seems to go for a much more relaxing atmosphere, which is fine as long as there's something to keep me occupied.  I need to derive some sense of fun from a game...that's why it's a game!

Imagine a game based on that one scene from Aladdin where you're just floating on a magic carpet through the clouds.  No sense of danger, nothing standing in your way, you're just coasting.  Every now and again a little piece of bread or whatever will float by that you can collect, but past that, nothing.  Sounds fun, right?  Yeah, I didn't think so.  That's what Incandescence reminds me of.

That's all I got for now.  Until next time, stay musical

Links
Ink on the fence: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=24656

Igneous

I was excited to play this game for 2 main reasons.  First, it's another IGF finalist.  While that's by no means an end-all quality assurance stamp, it tends to act like it.  Second, I have kind of an affinity for the word "Igneous" because when I was younger, my friends and I formed a band called "Igneus."  Get it?  Cuz we were a rock band...and we were hot...and we omitted a letter because we were clever like that...heh...hehe...ehhh...

well anyway, let it never be said that I'm a biased reviewer.  Let's analyze Igneous as a game and nothing more, shall we?

The first thing I noticed about Igneous is that it proudly touts the fact that it was built from the ground up using C++.  Wait a minute, doesn't that sound familiar?  Why yes, Deity advertised itself in the same way.  And, if you recall, I flipping loved Deity; it's probably my favorite game on the list so far.  The graphical styles of the two games are similar, too.  Huh...this game has set quite the challenge for itself by making me think of Deity.

The next thing I noticed is that the only two difficulty modes are "normal" and "impossible."  Can't fault them for being direct, I suppose.

Alright, enough beating around the bush.  Let's talk mechanics.

All things considered, this game reminds me more than Nitronic Rush than anything...oh, crap, wait...I'm not supposed to know about that game yet.  Forget what I just said!

So, I started out this game on Impossible difficulty, and man, does it lead up to that name...I had to turn down the difficulty on level 2 (after all, I want to get some sleep tonight and I didn't know how long this game would be).  Upon turning down the difficulty, however, the challenge factor took a disheartening turn for the frustrating.  Every death was a cheap one.  How the hell am I supposed to escape the falling ground when by the time it's started falling, I've already plummeted to my death?

Alright, let's take a step back and get the praise out of the way before I complain some more.  At least until the cheap deaths kicked in, what this game did best was atmosphere.  The intuitive control, the pleasant contrast of the visual style, the hectic music, and the jaw-dropping presentation put me right into that lovely state of flow.  With the exception of Erebus, no game on this list has immersed me more in its universe.

Then, everything changed when the cheap deaths attacked.

And blah blah blah, I'd be talking in circles if I continued.  Igneous is a great game that's sure to keep you on the edge of your seat.  It's certainly a challenge for all those adrenaline-junky gamers out there.  If you want a game that will put your ability to read the environment and make twitch decisions, this is your game.  For utterly mastering that specific style of game, I'll go ahead and give it my seal of approval.  I really considered withholding it because of the cheap deaths, but the game has so much to offer past that.

That's all I got for now.  Until next time, stay molten

Links
Pig knees: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=8713

Ice Wars

Alright well this game didn't exactly "work" in the traditional sense...It crashed way too often to be considered playable.  However, it did give me enough material to review it as if it did work...sort of.

Ok so the first thing you'll notice about this game is that there's no "how to play" screen.  Oh good, you may say, Dean doesn't get to complain about the game insulting his intelligence by telling him how to WASD.  Well, you're right, but as long as there are things in existence, mark my words, I will always find something to complain about.  To be fair, I figured out everything I needed to within 5 minutes of playing, so the game doesn't convey things too horribly.  It's just that they messed up a lot of simple things.  Since when, for example, is it considered okay to highlight the names of the players' team in red?  Especially considering that on the team selection screen, the player's name is in blue, this made figuring out who to click on more of a pain than it needed to be.

Anyways, what happens once you actually get the game figured out?  Well, it's quite rewarding, actually. The concept alone is enough to sell me.  This is what a "real time strategy game" should be!  See, I have no problem micro-managing action points or resources or whatever if it means I can have a definite grasp of what I'm doing and how each action will influence the events of the game. This game pulls that off perfectly.  You have no idea where your opponents are going to move or, therefore, where you should aim.  You have to get into the head of the enemy and figure out what they're going to do and how to counter it. It's slow-paced, but really intense.

Everything else is really secondary.  I would love to see a game like this get polished and re-released.  I'm a stingy ol' miser, but even I'd fork over a few bucks on Steam or what have you for a version of this game that didn't crash every 2 minutes.  Well done, DigiPen.  This game, or rather the hypothetical functional version of this game, gets my seal of approval.

That's all for now.  Until next time, stay chill.

Links
Rice Whores: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=509

Hyper Air Rally

Hyper Air Rally reminded me at first of A Series of Tubes.  Hang on, though, don't run away just yet.  That was only my first impression.

Once I got to dig into Hyper Air Rally what I saw as a fun, adrenaline-fueled air race.  Like anything, though, it could be better.  The designers seemed to be talented but misguided.  There seemed to be a lot of unnecessary effort that, if redirected, could have turned this unfinished yet entertaining romp into an experience to rival Diddy Kong Racing.

The controls, I'm not gonna lie, take a bit of getting used to.  They commit the mortal sin of making the arrow keys the primary directional buttons; and even go further to insult me by making "S" and "D" into secondary directional buttons.  Nonetheless, once you do learn them, navigating the racetracks can be fun, albeit unimmersive due to the physics engine.

Oh yeah, the physics engine is a sack of lard on a hot summer's day.  When you collide with a wall, you just kind of stick onto it with no kind of rebound to get you back on course.  This means one crash is, more often than not, not only fatal but also infuriating.

Those are really the only two complaints I have with the game.  I can look at most of these games, pick out their flaws and think "okay, maybe they just didn't have the time or manpower to iron that out," but that's not the case here.  Fact is, they just tried to cram too much into the game; therefore, they weren't able to perfect the parts of the game that needed perfecting.

The weapons are the biggest culprit.  I never even figured out how to use the weapons and every time an opponent fired upon me, I was able to dodge it without even trying.  The controls are hectic enough without the added stress of timing and aiming rockets, so the weapons are just superfluous.  The icing on the cake is that there are tons of weapons on the customization screen, each one a subtle middle finger to me and my desire for the game to wow me.

Even with all that, I had fun with Hyper Air Rally.  That's all I got for now.  Until next time, stay aerial

Links
Sniper Pear Valley: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=491

Hydroman

So this game is actually very similar to the last one I reviewed.  It had the foundation to be a unique and fun little adventure but it messed up programming-wise.

Actually, this game also has a problem with momentum, but honestly that's the least of our worries.  The main problem is how buggy this game is.  The physics are non-existent.  At any moment you can press space to leap from a rope only to get flung down into an abyss.

The game builds itself around swinging, which invokes a fun Bionic Commando kind of feel.  The problem is that the swinging physics are so damn choppy that the whole game ends up feeling more like Sonic '06 in that the only way to prosper is to manipulate the glitches to your advantage.

Don't get me wrong, this game had a lot of neat ideas.  In fact, I think that's its strongest point.  swinging mechanics, proximity lighting...nothing too original, but they seem like well-implemented ideas. There's enough in this game to make you go "oh, that's kinda cool."

Unfortunately, that feeling is far outweighed by the overall feel.  Everything in this game seems to be programmed to do the exact opposite of what you want it to do.  Hitbox sizes are inconsistent, the rope mechanics are a nightmare, hazards and platforms are placed inauspiciously...everything.

This game was another swing and miss, but I can respect that.  Yes, it has a lot of flaws...too many for me to recommend it, in fact.  Still, it has an appeal.

That's all I got for now.  Until next time, stay hydrated

Links: 
splat: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=25114

Hot Chick

yeah, this game certainly turned me into a hot chick....er...wait, that came out wrong...

Hot Chick is a platformer based around bomb-propulsion mechanics.  In short, it had a good foundation but failed in the implementation.  Allow me to elaborate:

The number one problem with Hot Chick is the momentum.  When you're in the air, you're pretty much inert.  Even though this is technically more realistic than the Mario approach, it's a lot less fun.  There's nothing quite as frustrating as frantically holding down a directional button trying desperately to mount a platform.

This flaw is made all the more menacing by the fact that you die in one hit.  Not only is this going to lead to a lot of unwanted spike deaths that feel undeserved, but it also paves the way to getting suckerpunched by enemies you only saw once you propelled yourself toward them.  This may be more a fault with the level design than the mechanics, but it still makes the game frustrating.

There are some good points to the game.  The art direction is competent and it does feel rewarding to conquer certain environment puzzles.  Essentially, whenever there's nothing around that can kill you, the game is fun.  Dying in one hit and a lack of mid-level checkpoints make every hazard in this game a walk through hell.

Not the worst game I've played, but I can't recommend it.  That's all for now.  Until next time, stay hot.

Links
Title Pun Swing and Miss: https://www.digipen.edu/?id=1170&proj=25440